I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
