all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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