This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize