Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize