I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize