sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
