I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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