think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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