Where is the hickey?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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