I think I died a long time ago.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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