Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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