filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
