In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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