Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize