I could make wine with my vomit
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
