didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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