nut hugger
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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