i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
