Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
