Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
