The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
