I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
