I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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