Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
