he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
