Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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