this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
