So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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