Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
