Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You pole danced in your parka.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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