is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cannot find my penis.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
