But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
