he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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