i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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