OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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