i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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