Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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