What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize