If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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