I puked a lego.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
