I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Houston, we have a blender
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
