I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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