I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
