I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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