It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
