i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
