I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
