I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
