I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize