Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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