Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your penis caused this!
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