He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
birth control should be required to get into college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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