What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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