I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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