I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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