Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
