I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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