I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
