just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
