They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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