my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
